Two Former Google Employees Are Trying To Run Bodegas Out Of Business With These Bullshit Vending Machines
Fast Company- While it sometimes feels like we do all of our shopping on the internet, government data shows that actually less than 10% of all retail transactions happen online. In a world where we get our groceries delivered in just two hours through Instacart or Amazon Fresh, the humble corner store–or bodega, as they are known in New York and Los Angeles–still performs a valuable function. No matter how organized you are, you’re bound to run out of milk or diapers in the middle of the night and need to make a quick visit to your neighborhood retailer.
Paul McDonald, who spent 13 years as a product manager at Google, wants to make this corner store a thing of the past. Today, he is launching a new concept called Bodega with his cofounder Ashwath Rajan, another Google veteran. Bodega sets up five-foot-wide pantry boxes filled with non-perishable items you might pick up at a convenience store. An app will allow you to unlock the box and cameras powered with computer vision will register what you’ve picked up, automatically charging your credit card. The entire process happens without a person actually manning the “store.”
Bodega’s logo is a cat, a nod to the popular bodega cat meme on social media–although if the duo gets their way, real felines won’t have brick-and-mortar shops to saunter around and take naps in much longer. “The vision here is much bigger than the box itself,” McDonald says. “Eventually, centralized shopping locations won’t be necessary, because there will be 100,000 Bodegas spread out, with one always 100 feet away from you.”
The major downside to this concept–should it take off–is that it would put a lot of mom-and-pop stores out of business. In fact, replacing that beloved institution seems explicit in the very name of McDonald’s venture, a Spanish term synonymous with the tiny stores that dot urban landscapes and are commonly run by people originally from Latin America or Asia. Some might bristle at the idea of a Silicon Valley executive appropriating the term “bodega” for a project that could well put lots of immigrants out of work.
Is nothing sacred anymore? 24-hour bodegas are to drunk/high people what hospitals are to burn victims. Except a bodega does way more than just save your life. It’s a place where racial discrimination melts away; a midnight haven where you can learn of different cultures while snacking on chocolate-covered pretzels. Behind the counter, you’ll befriend a man from India, Morocco, Korea, or some country you’ve never heard of. And regardless of his cultural origins, he understands you in your time of greatest need. He’s the best friend you’ll ever have, from 2AM-4AM.
Picture this: you somehow managed to get a girl back to your place from the bar. You don’t have any condoms because you know that buying condoms is a surefire way to NOT have sex. It’s like alerting a pitcher in the 8th inning that he’s got a perfect game going. You tell the girl you’re going into the bodega to get “snacks,” and she comes in with you because she wants to choose her own snacks. You buy a bunch of nonsense to disguise your true mission. They keep the condoms behind the counter, and she’s right there with you. You panic. If you ask for the condoms in front of her, she’ll flip out and storm away into the night.
But then, Arjun catches your eye. He’s been working here since the Knicks were good. No words are exchanged, no notes passed… just the slightest twinkle in his eye, to which you respond with an imperceptible nod. A little light banter and you’re off. Back in the apartment, with the lady in the bathroom, you open the plastic bag. Beneath the chips and popcorn, the pack of gum and the beef jerky, like a diamond in the rough, is a pack of Trojan “ribbed for her pleasure”, extra-lubricated condoms. Arjun secretly stashed the condoms for you at the bottom of the bag. He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector, a dark knight.
And now, these Silicon Valley big whigs are trying to put him out of business. We all have an Arjun. If one of these shitty cabinet stores shows up in your building, do us all a favor and take a shit in it. But use your own toilet paper to wipe–don’t pay these fuckers a cent.