Does This Look Like The Face Of A Guy Who Got Caught Eating Out His Girlfriend On The Beach While Drunk Off Four Loko?

Daily Mail- A couple have been arrested after a man was seen engaging in a sex act on a family beach in Florida after downing Four Loco. Jeffrey Kernan, 50, ‘was performing oral sex on his girlfriend… in front of families and children,’ on the Clearwater beach at around 5pm on Sunday afternoon, according to the arrest affidavit. Both Kernan and his girlfriend Alexandria Rowell, 26, were drunk, according to the document. The couple were arrested but bizarrely were not charged with public indecency. Instead, they were book for having an open container of alcohol – a 16-ounce can of Four Loko.

Four Loko! What a throwback! Goddamn. Four Loko was a mother fucker back in the day. And honestly that explains this type of behavior. It’s Four Loko behavior. Anyone who has ever drank Four Loko knows it puts you on a different level of drunkeness. And yes, I’m pretty sure 2017 Four Loko isn’t like the original Four Loko but that doesn’t matter. Four Loko isn’t a drink. Four Loko is a state of mind. When a person says, “Hey will you pick up some Four Loko for tonight?” then you might end up eating out your girlfriend on a public beach. I honestly think that’s why the cops didn’t charge them with public indecency. I’m not saying it makes their behavior acceptable but that’s exactly what I’m saying. The people on that beach need to grow up. So a couple little kids saw a grown man eating a woman’s pussy. The world isn’t going to end. If anything, that type of exposure will pay huge dividends down the road.