“Oh my gosh! Look at that car that just came out of the woods!” the man filming the video can be heard saying.
Another man remarks, “What the hell just happened here?”
“Somebody’s going to jail,” one of the men can be heard saying in the video, which is titled: “Vehicle attempts to ram Presidential Motorcade in Springfield, MO.”
The Springfield Police Department commented on the incident on Twitter, saying: “No intent of harm or disruption to motorcade,” and that the driver simply had a problem with her brakes, according to Ozarks First.
Trump traveled to Missouri on Wednesday to tout his tax reform plan.
Malfunctioning brakes? I might buy that if the car hadn’t come out of the fucking WOODS. It’s not exactly an off-roading vehicle. Like if this lady were driving an old Jeep wrangler covered in paintballs and mud, I might believe that her brakes had failed while thundering through the trees. But no… she’s either an Uber driver looking for her next passenger–a woodland elf named Faerenduil with a 5-star rating thanks to his incredible manners–or she’s a Trump protestor trying to ram the President’s car with the wrong equipment. Don’t bring a 97′ Civic to a motorcade fight. Everyone knows those repurposed Cadillacs that the President rolls in are like tanks, and that shitty white car couldn’t even handle the ditch. Maybe raise the suspension next time you want to take out POTUS.
The fact that her car wasn’t blown to the moon is a little disconcerting. Don’t we have some next-generation force field weapons to protect against this? Something out of a video game that would send that rogue vehicle skyward before various car and body parts rain down? A cascade of steering wheels and tires and internal organs. At the very least, you’d expect a team of SEALs to black out the sun with RPG fire the moment it clears the tree line, right? I know she wasn’t that close, but at the same time, she was pretty close. The entire motorcade just kept driving until one group of good samaritan secret service guys pulled over to see if she was alright. Let’s tighten up that perimeter, guys.
Then again, maybe her GPS told her there was a shortcut through the woods, and she’s a very literal person.
