A Gang Stole 20 Tons Of Nutella Off A Truck And I Say Good For Them

Mashable- If someone offers you a large batch of Nutella and Kinder Surprise Eggs, don’t trust them. Report it to police immediately. Police in Germany have reported the theft of 20 tonnes of chocolate goods, valued at more than 50,000 euros (£45,400; $59,000), in a lorry trailer. To give you a rough idea, 20 tonnes of Nutella = 1,000 of these: “Anyone offered large quantities of chocolate via unconventional channels should report it to the police immediately,” Neustadt police said in a statement. Yes, this is for real. The trailer also contained Valparaiso chocolate fruit pearls, according to police spokesman Martin Ahlich. “It is not even clear if they were after the sweets or after the trailer — at this point we do not know what their motive was,” he said. The sweet-toothed thieves allegedly used another trailer or van to tow the trailer away on Saturday night. Police are looking into whether the incident is linked to the theft of another empty lorry in Weimar, 25 km away.

I say good for these guys. Stealing is wrong, sure. But it’s Nutella. Are we really gonna get our collective panties in a bunch over Nutella? I’m not and neither should the authorities. Let’s save those outrage bullets for when thieves steal And you never know, maybe these guys will turn out to be the Robin Hoods of Nutella. Maybe they’ll shower the impoverished streets with Nutella goodness. I say we receive judgment until we see what these fellas decide to do with the stuff. Also, I know this didn’t happen, but I pictured this Nutella heist just like the heists in the original The Fast and The Furious movie.

And, in one of the more absurd things that has ever been said, the police released a statement saying this

“Anyone offered large quantities of chocolate via unconventional channels should report it to the police immediately,” Neustadt police said in a statement.

Are they serious? Did they take an old statement talking about drugs and just insert the word “chocolate”? Sure seems that way. And I’ll tell you another thing, I ain’t snitching on anybody who offers me a large quantity of chocolate. You know what I’d offer a person who did that? My friendship, my loyalty and any beer I have in my fridge.