The Internet Is Losing Its Mind Because My New Chaise Lounger Is Awesome AF

I came home from New York this week to find an amazing new chaise lounger in my house. It’s much bigger than I thought it was gonna be and that’s ok. It looks kinda strange in our living room but I don’t even think that matters. People rarely come over so I don’t give a shit what other people think. This chaise might be the perfect jeopardy watching chair. I don’t say that lightly either. It’s a very good jeopardy watching chair.

I knew that I loved the chair and that my family loved the chair but I had no idea that my chaise lounge would be the number one trending topic on twitter for over 9 hours. (sample size just includes my neighborhood). People were losing their damn minds about it.

Some people were saying that I look tiny as all hell in the chair. Classic tactic by the jealous, ass haters. I’m still 6 foot and 215 el bees so don’t worry about that. The chair is so big that it makes me look tiny. It’s kinda like pissing next to Shaq. Just because he’s a monster doesn’t mean that you are small. You are still normal sized; he’s just that big, folks. (talkin dick and thighs. I have sources that say he pulls his pants all the way down to do a piss. Bizarre stuff)

Anyway, people were fucking loving the chaise. Even Frank the Tank wants to get in on the action.

Others knew that a chaise this size could only mean one thing.

You got that right, pal.