Hamptons Party Goers Mistake Counter-Terrorism Units For Art Installation

Source - Police officers with machine guns have started appearing at fancy Hamptons events amid fears of terrorist attacks. Guests at the tony Watermill Center gala on Saturday night initially thought the two officers standing clad in black bulletproof vests were part of the annual art installations.

But the officers explained to a guest that Steven Skrynecki, Southampton Town police chief, has introduced a new counterterrorism unit that will see the presence of officers with body armor and powerful firearms at swanky public events. The officer was overheard explaining that police chiefs believe the events could be “soft targets” and that potential attackers could see a “big media opportunity” with all the prominent people present.

The Watermill Center gala attracted 1,200 people to the art performances, and 500 stayed for dinner, where awards were given to Huppert and Laurie Anderson, who performed a concert in honor of her late husband Lou Reed.

There are two kinds of Hamptons. The down-to-earth kind and the kind that mistakes counter-terrorism units for art installations. Unfortunately the latter gives the former a bad rap. That said, I get it. Art installations are confusing. I had a friend whose entire project consisted of a wax vagina tacked to a wall. It was strange and off-putting. And as much I wanted to, I couldn’t make fun of it. It was his hard work. Which leads me to believe these pedantic partygoers were simply being polite. Didn’t want to step on any artistic toes. That or they were suffering from a case of “affluenza.” It’s not like police are a part of their every day lives. I’m sure the only time they see a machine gun is in their safe-room or during a big game hunt.

Something seems off about the whole situation. Do they really think terrorists are going to attack a bunch of baby boomers in the Hamptons? I don’t think so. Even if they planned on it the LIRR would be so delayed they’d kill themselves before they arrived. If I had to guess I’d say police chief Skyrnecki has some skin in the game. Maybe a brother-in-law on the counter-terror squad looking for OT or something. It has to be the easiest gig in the world. They’re essentially getting paid to watch celebrities party. Which is fine, it just seems unnecessary considering everything else that’s going on in Long Island. Then again, I could be wrong, I’m not the police chief.