New White House Communications Director Says America's In Good Shape Because Trump Makes 3-Foot Putts

This hit the internet streets late Friday and I missed it because I was paying tribute to Sean Spicer. Well I didn’t miss it but by the time I saw it it was too late on Friday and it’s too good of a clip to waste on a weekend blog so here we are. It’s Monday, you’re back in the office, and you need to know that your president BURIES 3-footers.

Now, on the surface this is a bit of a ridiculous thing to say: America’s fine because Trump throws spirals through tires, hits foul shots, and drains 3-footers. Seems like a slight oversimplification of geopolitics.

But Scaramucci is ABSOLUTELY right here. Nobody wants some limp dick loser with no clutch gene. Can you win as a nation with some dork who can’t fire the pigskin or pour in that clutch 3-footer or throw bags like a human being?

Nope you sure can’t. Might sound stupid but it’s true. We might not feel great about President Donnie on everything, but we sure feel good sending our guy in there knowing he delivers spirals, knocks ‘em down from the line, and drops 3-footers when he needs ‘em.

Might wanna add that he rips the d-stick down the pipe when the cameras are rolling, too.