Zach Ertz And His Wife Julie Look Almost Too Good Naked

Pics via ESPN The Body Issue

Damn these Greek God and Goddess. Seinfeld historically taught society there’s good naked and bad naked…

…but even that’s fantasy. Typically with us mortals it’s almost always bad naked. However, these two can be coughing up a storm while crouching in a puddle of their own piss and they’ll look like royalty.

But good for them. Ertz seems like a decent dude and Julie seems like a swell girl. Plus we’ve got ourselves a potential prodigy being conceived with Eagles blood. A college should recruit that kid before it makes its way down the canal. Between Zach being a (still 1st-Team All-Potential) TE freak and her soccer skills, that spawn is either D-1 material or they should get their money back. And if that’s offensive, I apologize to Jules. Gotta stay on her good side. She’s as important as anyone while Ertz blooms into a certified superstar only during the 2nd half of seasons or whenever he plays the Redskins. It helps that she’s as cute as a button, too. Now keep that man happy, dammit, for all of us.