Reporter Points Out To Dave Roberts That All Four Of The Dodgers' Walk-Off Victories Have Been At Home This Year
Not exactly the perfect comparison, but this reminds me of when you go to the movies and they take your ticket and tell you to enjoy the movie and you say, “Thanks. You too,” and you’re like FUCK, they’re not going to the movie.
Whoever this reporter is, I’d like to give them the benefit of the doubt that they knew they fucked up the second this came out of their mouth, but I’m not entirely sure that was the case. If Dave Roberts hadn’t pulled this no fucks move and corrected this dumb statement within milliseconds, then I’m not quite sure they would’ve realized their error. People were saying that it was probably a reporter who was there on a day pass who might’ve been nervous and inexperienced, but reading between the lines here, Roberts didn’t even smirk when he dunked on this dude and dragged his nuts across his forehead. Either he’s a complete savage with no regard for human life, or that was a know-it-all reporter who deserved to get dunked on.
Now that I think of it, we’re programmed to say, “Thanks. You too,” in situations like the movie scenario. But as baseball fans, nobody who watches baseball on a regular basis is under the impression that walk-offs can happen on the road, and it’s WAY worse that someone who covers the sport for an outlet that’s reputable enough to get press passes could possibly think this. That’s just a straight up dumb person. Let me see if I can be that fucking stupid.
“So Dave, I’ve noticed that this season, all of your double plays have been turned with one out or less. What do you attribute that to?”
“Dave, Dave, down here. The fucking nerd in the striped polo with the pocket protector. Yeah, so I was crunching the numbers and it looks like Kershaw has amassed every single one of his strikeouts this year on two-strike counts. Is that something he worked on over the winter, or has this just been a gradual process?”
“Hey Dave, the Dodgers are 39-0 this year when they score more runs than their opponent. Have you ever seen a team go on an unbeaten streak like this before?”
“Davey Dave Dave, the Dodgers have won EVERY single game that Kenley Jansen has recorded a save this year. When’s the last time you’ve seen a relief pitcher go on a run that’s been as dominant as his?”
Okay, I’m done.