Darius Miles Selling Everything From His Autographed LeBron Jersey To His Toaster In A Bankruptcy Sale Is Depressing As Fuck

TMZ- Ex-NBA player Darius Miles — who made more than $60 MILLION in his career — has lost all of his treasured belongings in a bankruptcy sale … from his signed LeBron jersey to his waffle maker.

As we previously reported, Miles filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy last year — and as part of the process, he was ordered to sell off his stuff to pay back creditors.

The sale went down in Illinois. Here’s how it went.
— LeBron James signed jersey ($1,500)
— Larry Bird signed jersey ($100)
— AR15 firearm ($500)
— Beretta Cx4 Storm gun ($400)
— Self-contained karaoke machine ($75)
— Dirk Nowitzki signed shoe ($375)
— Lamar Odom signed shoe ($225)
— 5 VHS players (total of $21.50)
They even sold his toaster for $2.00
There was a lot more stuff — and in total, Miles got $12,780 from the sale.

Hopefully any athlete that missed the “Broke” 30 For 30 saw this article. I mean granted, if you had told me to pick an NBA player from the early 2000s that would end up turning his millions into thousands, Darius Miles would have been a lottery pick. It was only a matter of time before the NBA cash and Van Wilder residual checks stopped flowing in. But this is still some sad shit. Losing the money is tough. Having to declare bankruptcy like Michael Scott must hurt.

But taking a man’s toaster is where I draw the line. Selling off a man’s memorabilia or guns is one thing. But flipping his toaster for 8 quarters is just piling on. That’s a 15 yard taunting penalty in Roger Goodell’s NFL.

In fact $2 for a working, game used toaster is an absolute steal. If people will pay thousands for game-used bullshit, $2 for an NBA player’s breakfast-used toaster is the steal of the century. There is no upgrade in the food game like going from cold bread to warm toast. Who was this sale conducted by, Phil Jackson? On what planet does a signed Larry Bird jersey go for $100? You can’t even get an unsigned Mitchell & Ness Larry Bird jersey for $100. Coley would have coughed up a Barstool-sponsored C-note for this jersey and won a Jersday off of it. Countless fans would pay more than $500 for an automatic weapon once owned by an NBA player. Shit, Bassy Telfair probably would have given D Miles a cool grand if he kept everything under wraps.

Also what the fuck was D Miles doing with FIVE (5!!!) VHS players in his house. The only people that have that many VHS players in 2017 are hoarders and people that died in luxurious but remote cabins in the early 90s but their corpses still haven’t been discovered. DVD players are hard to find these days. VHS players are basically unicorns.

Slam has really had a rough last 24 hours, huh?

The fucked up thing is I can still talk myself into D-Miles becoming an All-Star if everything clicks, even though he hasn’t played in the NBA for like a decade just because I loved his name, the headband bump, his jersey number, and it always felt like he was young because he came straight from high school.