Jerry Seinfeld Absolutely STIFLED Kesha From Giving Him A Hug

Well I hope Kesha saved up whatever money she made from singing the last few years because Jerry Seinfeld just murdered her career in that video. Mutombo’d her to Mars and probably sent his publicist a very angry email for even being invited to the same event of someone like Kesha. It is almost impossible to bounce back from a public shaming like that unless you have the brains and ruthlessness of a Cersei Lannister. And something tells me Kesha isn’t exactly checking in with 99 ratings in either of those categories. I don’t know what Jerry was offended by more, the fact a rando tried to give him a hug or the fact that rando ended up being Kesha. Jerry doesn’t give a fuuuuuck if it was a fan coming up for a hug or the chick that got “Tik Tok” stuck in our heads for days on end, if Jerry even knows that Kesha sang that nonsense.

I realize that the world has become a more hug friendly place in 2017, which is good for me because I’m a hugger. But you can’t just be throwing around hugs all willy nilly to people you don’t know, especially to celebrities. The first rule of being a hugger is you have measure up the person you want to hug and realize if they actually want to be hugged. For example, it is clear to anyone with a brain that Larry David is a HARD NO for any hugs. If you are friends with Jerry, you can definitely give him a hug. But you better be on first name basis with him first. Julia Louis Dreyfus probably doles out hugs left and right because she’s cool as hell, filthy rich, and is an ageless banshee. Life has treated Julia pretty well and I’m sure she reciprocates the love. As for the rest of the Seinfeld regulars, I imagine you can probably buy a hug off of Jason Alexander for a supporting role in a movie or TV show and Michael Richards has likely been dying to get a hug since he went loco on stage a few years ago.

Anyway, if you are Kesha, maybe you should start a little bit down the food chain and try to hug Bania or Newman or Man Hands before you attempt to snag a hug from any of the Big 4.