Kristaps Porzingis Was Dealt A Serious L From An Instagram Model

Translated: Do you sleep peacefully, Kristaps Porzingis?

There is really no way to spin this. Our little Latvian cherub took an L the other day. But that’s fine. This is clearly a growing experience. Life isn’t all about playing virtual footsie with Abigail Ratchford.

Everyone and their mother was using the phrase “Shooters shoot” after KP threw those eyes emojis directly into Abi’s heart and potentially her DMs. But the thing about shooting your shot is sometimes those shots go in and sometimes they go all Swaggy P on you.

This one was clearly a Swaggy P situation. Not quite Francis almost getting fired for hitting up that SI chick. But still a clear miss.

Like I said, this is all a learning experience. A simple scroll through this chick’s previous pictures show she is clearly with a dude.

Add in the kiss and the burn post where she calls out our Latvian angel in whatever funky language that is and you have no choice but to think Godzingis walked away from this one with a loss. But you know what? I’m gonna look at the bright side of life. She now knows who KP is. Her man is now walking a tightrope with no harness. Ines now has KP’s handle a simple click away on her profile. No need to follow Kristaps when she can creep without the follow. No paper trail of follows or likes like the JHammmmmmmmmy situation. I respect your game Ines. Playing chess when the rest of us play checkers. Nobody willingly completely cuts ties with a 7’3″ millionaire with a wet jumper in one hand and the key to New York in the other. Nothing but a hat tip from me, Ines.

Also Porzingis’ emoji usage is consistent with his “I don’t use those emojis” defense about getting hacked for that Clippers tweet.

I knew he loved and and would never leave us! He is signed up for 10-12 more years of misery (maybe less depending on James Dolan’s health)! God I love that dude.