A Dude Went On A Naked PCP High Freakout Where He Swam In A Neighbor's Koi Pond And Tore Up The Backyard

Warning: This dude gets naked and fingers his ass — in fact declaring that it “smells like a woman’s pussy” so his ass has that going for it — but he also has a micropenis so it’s NSFW but not like job firingly NSFW. I warned you.

This is one thing I’ve thought about a lot as a person who watches a fair amount of HGTV programming: Neighbors fucking suck. Any house where you have neighbors right on top of you is begging for trouble. Living in NYC you’re guaranteed to be in close proximity to people but when you go somewhere that you’ve got a backyard and a Koi pond and nice things, having someone hovering on top of your backyard space would absolutely ruin that. And this is what happens when you have neighbors this on top of you in suburbia. Yeah they may not always be high on PCP throwing rocks at you. But they’ll squabble about property lines. They’ll guilt you if you have anything they perceive to be an eye sore in your backyards. Their kids or relatives will be running around and being annoying when you just wanna chill and enjoy a little Koi pond relaxation back there. It’s just asking for trouble. If your backyard isn’t fenced in, it’s like every day of your life is lived at a communal table at a restaurant. Why even live in suburbia if you’re subjecting yourself to that? The Koi pond paid the price for this homeowner’s bad choices in not having an enclosed backyard.

Also while I admire the dude filming for his quality narration and genuine concern for a dude seemingly going through a massive drug freakout, there is no fucking way I would be 1/10th as compassionate as he was here. Dude was throwing rocks at you a few minutes ago, might have eaten your face or rubbed his lil nubbin dick if you got within a five foot radius of him, and now you’re calling the cops AND telling him to lock himself like Anne Frank to avoid them when they come? I don’t get that at all. Either be the drug mom and help him out or call the cops and let him pay the price. Just be consistent with your treatment of nude tiny dicked fellas throwing rocks at your head.