Antonio "The Father of Our Country" Cromartie Just Made Baby No. 14
TMZ – Antonio Cromartie’s sperm just can’t be stopped — the NFL star’s wife is pregnant with his 14TH KID … despite the fact he had a vasectomy a while back.
Terricka Cromartie confirmed the pregnancy on her Instagram page — this will be her 6th child. …
Terricka is 25 weeks pregnant. They haven’t revealed the sex of the child.
There is this …. Terricka ended her Instagram announcement with the hash tag #bowwowchallenge” — and some people are saying it proves the post was a joke.
But we spoke with people close to Terricka who insist this is very real and the baby is due in 15 weeks.
Of course Antonio Cromartie’s sperm can’t be stopped! It’s only through the sheer arrogance of modern medical science that doctor’s even tried to stop them with their puny vasectomy. Please. It’s laughable at anyone would think the mere act of severing Cromartie’s vas deferens would slow down his supersperm, even a little bit. Those swimmers merely leap the distance like the Christian Bale Batmobile. Then come at Terricka’s women in massive numbers, like the allied landing craft storming the beaches at Normandy. Just far too many for even the most solidly defended parts of her uterus.
If doctors had given Cro some kind of quintuple vasectomy, castrated him, put a condom on him, tied Terricka’s tubes with concertina wire, pumped her full of spermicide and put her on the Pill, he’d still grow his balls back and knock her up within minutes. Like the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, his DNA will find a way. He’s just that good. A perfect, reproductive machine. And all that machine does it eat, and play football, and make baby Cromarties.
They don’t know what sex the baby is, but does it even matter? Either way that kid is going to be born fertile. Because the important thing is that his seed continue to spread. And by the time this baby arrives, it’ll make naming his kids back in 2010 look like child’s play. This is the greatest single moment in the history of Hard Knocks and it’s not even close.
Congratulations to the Cromarties and to the human gene pool.