David Spade Tried To Shit On The Cash Me Ousside Girl On Instagram Only To Get His Face Melted Off When She Replied

You come at the barely literate 14-year-old queen you bess not miss. And honestly it’s a well deserved facial for David Spade, who took that pic, saw a chance to shit on the Cash Me Ousside girl unimpeded to get everyone on the internet hiveminding support for him like “Yeah she sucks! You’re so right and so relevant, David Spade! Now another generation of 22-year-old hot chicks will bang you despite not doing anything funny in the last 20 years!” And instead she saw his Instagram, shot right back with an insult that hits way too close to home, and left him bleeding in an alleyway with a social media shot right to the gut. He’s 52 years old and he’s playing on her turf, the Instagram playground where she’s now got 9 and a half MILLION followers breathlessly gobbling up everything she does. A kid talking shit who grew up with social media’s got the comedy chops to hang with a dude who’s worked in the field for 35 years, that’s a tough public L to take.

But for all we know given how David Spade has inexplicably pulled substantially younger Playboy chicks and models and actresses for decades, this might be some long con of his for when Cash Me Ousside hits legal age. A few Instagram negs now, a chance meeting at Bar Marmont, and it’s a thin line between hate and creepy uncomfortably older love. Spade knows the game he’s played for decades now all too well to not offer that up as an option. There’s a reason a Keebler elf with the forced snarky voice of the early 90s is still pulling chicks whose tits he can’t even see over the top of…that devil lies in the details.

PS I know you’re reading this Spade.

You got any beef with this blog, bring it to me and my tag partner Cash Me Ousside girl with any teammate of your choosing. Best case we’re whoopin dat ass, worst case I’m sniffing your fingers.

(h/t my pal Rear Ad of our phenomenal Spittin Chiclets hockey podcast)