Gilbert Arenas's Old Blackberry Contacts Had A Thorough And Respectful Filing System For Girls On The Road

Gilbert Arenas, still retired, still crushing it on Instagram. And I love these kinds of looks at how an athlete with a decent network of chicks keeps things manageable. He may be overrating a few too many girls’ fellatio skills and may need to go to more church groups to find respectable ladies, but at those sort of hundred-million-dollar athlete levels that he was back in the Blackberry Messenger days, you’ve got to have some sort of system. With a system you’re saving yourself headaches and potential time wasted.

That said, the categories he’s going by seem a little limited. Why not go by body type? Titty size? Or ethnicity? In that fellatio category you’re getting skinny girls, white girls, big girls, Hawaiian girls, and when you’re grinding that much you know the names aren’t always going to ring a bell. I guess I admire his ability to focus on the important issues like trust, oral sex skills, and willingness to hook up with another girl, but to me I’m looking more for a searchable database spelling out the physical attributes. Different ho filing systems for different folks, that’s what I’ve always said.

And a reminder: Gilbert Arenas is good at filing hoes, bad at being a house guest