The Yankees Unveiled Their New Food For 2017

The Yankees finally come home on Monday so they finally put out information about changes to the stadium for this season. There are new party decks in centerfield and a playground for kids, but the most important thing we learned today is the new food items at the stadium. Last season I ranked all the new items and then I went out and ate them.

This year, I’m going to do the same so let’s take a look at what I’ll be eating.

Mighty Quinn’s is setting up shop in Yankee stadium and if we’re being honest I’ve never been a big Mighty Quinn’s fan. The food is good but I just don’t trust a BBQ place without mac and cheese. A man has to have a code. Quinn’s is bringing a lot of classic BBQ dishes to Yankee Stadium in pulled pork, wings and brisket, but there are two that really peak my interest. Those are the Brontosaurus Rib and the S’mores Bread pudding.

• S’mores Bread Pudding: Marshmallow, Chocolate, Graham Crackers And Crème Anglaise Sauce.

  When you’re at the stadium on a cold spring night early in the year, or a freezing night during the playoffs, this could be clutch. It’s warm, it’s sweet, it’s chocolate, it’s getting eaten.

• Brontosaurus Rib: A Full Pound Of Tender Short Rib On The Bone, And Smoked For 16 Hours.

  When I look to get excited about something I’m eating at a baseball game I want it over the top and that’s what this is. A pound of rib is perfect to make sure you’re full and perfect to be a douche on social media. Why else do we leave the house?

It’s tough to get excited about Bareburger coming to Yankee Stadium with about 50 locations around the city. Without anything special that you can’t get at one of their normal location, this feels sort of mailed in. Really the only benefit I see is that there’s a vegan option.

• Guadalupe: Black Bean Burger, Pickled Red Onions, Spinach, Guacamole, Spicy Pico De Gallo, On A Sprout Bun.

  Now we know who the nerds are.

Last year we were introduced to the 2 foot cheesesteak and it looks like that’s been outsourced to Jersey Mike’s. I’ve never had Jersey Mike’s because I’ve lived in Philly before so I know this is likely similar to getting and Italian hero from Subway.

Out in left-center the Frank’s Redhot Terrace is a new patio for drinking. They’re serving up sliders that look like they’ll be better than the ones you could already get at the stadium because the meat will be fresher.

• Yankee Dingers: Custom-Ground Hand-Smashed Mini Burgers, Shaved White Onions, Melted American Cheese, Grilled French’s Yellow Mustard Placed On A Steamed Potato Bun.

  Sliders are the perfect fat guy food when you’re really trying to get it in but don’t want to get caught holding a huge burger.

This is The Bronx so it’s about time they brought in a place making mozzarella in the stadium. It may surprise you that I’m not a huge vegetable guy but the options don’t look bad.

• The Mutz on a Roll or Bowl: Hand Pulled Mozzarella, Mixed Vegetables, Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Baby Arugula. 

  If you’re trying to convince yourself you get it in a bowl but if you want the real Italian experience, you get this on a roll.

I fucks with steam buns heavy. A good steam bun is just a great experience because you start off with some that warm pillowy bun and then some kind of delicious asian meat, right in your mouth. Whether I did this web series or not, I would eat these all.

• Hoisin Brushed Bacon: Pickled Carrots, Sliced Cucumber, Lime Cilantro Crema, Hoisin, Sesame Seeds. 

  We all know Bacon is great, but now you asian the shit out of it and you can’t pass it up.

• Charbroiled Chicken: Bbq Sauce, Sriracha Ranch, Crushed Kettle Chips. 

  A fun fact about me is that I only learned about putting chips on sandwiches like a year ago and now I CAN’T STOP. If you tell me I can watch the greatest franchise in the history of sports play and combine all the stuff in steam bun, I can’t picture a better experience.

• Marinated Beef: Cheddar Cheese, Sautéed Onions And Bell Peppers, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. 

  I’m skeptical about the Cheetos. When I think of Cheetos, I think garbage people that feel Mountain Dew is an acceptable thing to drink so I could go without them but that crunch could be similar to chips so I’m willing to take one for the team.

• Buffalo Cauliflower: Blue Cheese, Frank’s RedHot, Celery Slaw. 

  I just did a month sober and eating only Whole 30 to lose 25 pounds. As part of that I ate a bunch of cauliflower but my doctor, who feels the need to shit on everything I enjoy putting in my body, told me it’s high in sugar. He won’t be happy that I eat this, but he’s not going to be happy that I’m eating any of this.

Another drinking patio in the outfield where Yankee fans and Red Sox fans would’ve brawled in the early 2000’s

• Caramelized Onion French Dip Sandwich: Rotisserie Roasted And Shaved Prime Rib, Caramelized Onions, Melted Swiss Cheese On A Seeded Semolina, Dipped In French Onion Soup. 

  I’ve never had a bad french dip in my life and I don’t think it’s possible to have one. This has to be eaten on a chillier day though because au jus in August just won’t work.

Lobel’s is the pound for pound champion of Yankee Stadium. For years, they have put out amazing steak sandwiches on a consistent basis for years and even went far enough to put a butcher shop in the stadium. This year the menu is expanding and expanding in a big way.

• Steak and Potato Fries: Shaved Prime Steak, Fried Russet Potatoes, Sour Cream, Green Onions, Shredded Cheddar Cheese And Bacon, Smothered In Homemade Gravy. 

  LET’S FUCKING GO! Give me this bowl of heart attack and give it to me now.

• USDA Prime Steak Sandwich: Toasted Brioche Bun. 

  This is Lobel’s fastball. Just throw down the 1, and see if anyone else in the concessions game can hit it. I’ve had it a million times and can’t wait to have it again.

So, there we have it. These are the new food items at Yankee Stadium this year that I’ll be eating. I’m also excited for a few things I missed last year like the breakfast sandwich cart, that could be clutch for hungover 1pm games.

I’ll be eating almost everything at Yankees Stadium this season and have trips planned to Camden (Saturday), Fenway, Citi and Wrigley so far. Videos will go out on Twitter first (no more Youtube) so follow me to see the videos first.