The New York Post App Was Hacked Over The Weekend And Sent Some Pretty Weird Notifications
“Whoa. Whoa that’s weird. Really fucking weird. Holy fuck that’s weeeeeird.”
Come on Post, you guys are better than that. Us here at Barstool can tell you a thing or two about sending unwanted notifications. The first rule is to make sure the unwanted notifications drop nice and early. Sure everyone will be pissed about getting woken up at like 5 a.m. But once the 100th “this is a test” notification arrives, they will get started on their day and probably have one of their most productive days in years. Ever hear the phrase early bird gets the worm? Yeah, it’s basically the truest thing ever. And if you say that it was all due to Romanians testing things out, people will envision a bunch of guys named Boris working on computers powered by potatoes, shrug their shoulders, and go about their days.
Second of all, make sure the notifications make a lick of sense. Yeah a Nirvana lyric is fun, but don’t be dropping some satanic mumbo jumbo on peoples heads on a Saturday night. People just want to drink themselves onto another planet and forget all of life’s problems. Making them think the world is about to end with some shit that looks like it was written in the bible right before the four horsemen appear or the Cervix Killer’s manifesto is just a dick move.
Third and maybe most importantly, definitely don’t do it on April 1st so everyone thinks it’s just a shitty April Fools prank. Granted being hacked kind of takes that power out of your hands. But you need to have all hands on deck for the IT departments on April 1st. There is truly nothing worse than an April Fool’s joke gone wrong. I don’t think there is a company on the planet that I wouldn’t boycott due to an awful April Fool’s prank (okay, more than a few fast food and snack companies are probably safe).
However I will say that the Heil President Donald Trump message was a nice touch by the hacker. The Donald is so hot right now, the hackers could have just dropped that notification and it would have lit the internet on fire.
The lesson as always = Keep it simple stupid.