Santa Monica Lady Freaks Out When Overly Passionate Couple Kiss Each Other On The Forehead

I don’t know what this lady’s problem is. I love watching young people be sexually passionate in public. If I’m waiting in line to get a delicious salad because I overate the night before, I don’t mind seeing a little kissing. Hell, a little over the shirt tit play never hurt anyone. Nothing wrong with that at all. I’m not gonna stand by the kale and chickpeas and call you a whore for a little public display of affection. No, sir. I’m gonna encourage that behavior. Life is too short to not play the over (the shirt titty massage game).

The root of this whole thing was jealousy. The lady clearly wanted to fuck this guy on the salad bar. She kept talking about how ugly and nasty his girlfriend was which I found to be ugly and nasty behavior. I did that growing up. If you were a young lady who caught my eye, you better believe I was subtly calling your boyfriend a big ole pussy. It worked sometimes, too. Shoutout to me.

Also, I cant stand when people ask questions that no one could possibly know the answer to.

“Do you know how much I want to puke on both of you?” That’s a fucked up question. How could they possibly know? If the guy answers, it might be mansplaining so he’s gotta tread lightly. Don’t ask questions like that. Just state what you are thinking. “On a scale of 1-10 using only breakfast foods as a guide, 1 being plain white toast and 10 being a loaded western omelet, I wanna puke on you a loaded western omelet.” See? Much more simple.

I’d love to be the 911 operator at the end, “Excuse me! There’s a man who is about to have sex.”

Not everything the crazy lady did was bad, though. I respect the hustle of trying to get the meal for free. “UGH! You made me this delicious salad but I saw someone kiss. I need this for free and possibly a voucher for my next two or three visits as well. Ughh. I can barely eat here now.”