The Upcoming Jumanji Movie Is About A Video Game Instead Of A Board Game And I Think I Am Okay With That
The Verge- Footage from the Jumanji reboot Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle was shown at Sony’s CinemaCon panel last night, confirming the long-rumored plot detail that the new film is about a magical video game instead of a magical board game.
The story reportedly follows four high school students who find an old video game console (console unspecified) while cleaning out a dusty closet during detention and are subsequently transported into the world of the game — and into the bodies of stars Kevin Hart, The Rock, Jack Black, and Karen Gillan (Nick Jonas is also in this movie somewhere, TBD).
Now I’m not going to lie, the old me probably would have thrown a hissy fit about this reboot/sequel/whatever the fuck it is supposed to be disgracing the original by transforming Jumanji from a board game to a video game. But the newer, older, more mature me can read that last sentence I typed and realize just how stupid it would be to get upset at something like this. First of all, the target audience of this movie isn’t fans of the original that came out in 1995. Those people are best case scenario enjoying their late 20s, worst case scenario washed up like me. The target audience are kids that probably stopped playing board games the minute they figured out how to unlock their parents’ iPhones and iPads, which means roughly around 6 months old (Side note, Jumanji being 22 years old AKA older than Glenny, Ria and Robbie Fox is depressing as fuck).
Anyway, the target market for this movie is going to relate with a movie about video games a shitload more than they would about a board game. Making it about a board game actually would seem out of place in 2017. The kids that will be watching this movie in the theaters may have had a brief run playing Candy Land, but I can’t imagine many kids this day and age have the patience to be stuck in the Molasses Swamp with Gloppy for more than one round before losing interest and doing something else that is a lot more fun on their phone.
To be honest, I don’t wanna see that old, terrifying, yet beautifully hand crafted board game anyway. Let it beat its drum in the middle of nowhere. Because if this movie stinks, we can always tell ourselves that its a Jumanji in name only. I don’t want to go back to the world of Jumanji 1 without Robin Williams (#RIP). If Jumanji 2 is about a video game, I can watch it (verrrrry likely On Demand) and just try to enjoy The Rock being charming as fuck like always, hope that Kevin Hart doesn’t ruin the movie for me like he has countless celebrity basketball game, and not get upset when the movie studio tries to shamelessly squeeze every last cent out of the name Jumanji, which will obviously include a video game for every system and device known to man. The movie may have Jumanji in the title, but my stupid brain is already able to say that Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle is just a knock off imposter that has nothing to do with the original (unless The Rock absolutely murders it, which is a possibility. But the Kevin Hart factor may be too much).
And since it’s semi related, I feel like a classic KFC Radio question needs to be asked again.
Would you rather have to play a full game of Jumanji and all the chaos that goes along with it or be trapped in Jurassic Park with the power out?