There's A Big Debate Online About Whether Wolverine's Circumcision Would Heal Or Not Due To His Mutant Powers

Inverse.com – Thanks to Marvel and Fox’s wildly successful new film Logan, the nearly 200-year-old mutant has been the subject of much examination. Many critics have discussed the impressive length of Hugh Jackman’s career playing Weapon X, but few have really gone deep into Wolverine’s anatomy.

We know the basics: Logan’s romantic experiences with Rose and Jean Grey, his history in Japan, and his relationships with his surrogate father Xavier and his sort-of daughter, Laura. We know how he got his adamantium from Alkali Transigen, and we know that the insidious metal fused to his skeleton slowly eats him alive in Logan.

We do not, however, know whether his penis’s foreskin is intact. And it’s a harder question to answer than you might expect.

I have to admit that due to how not gay I am I was certainly not thinking about Wolverine’s erection when seeing Logan a few weeks back since he’s got no romantic interests in the movie and it’s really about a man/mutant coming to terms with all of the killing he’s done in his exceedingly long life. But you give me a good mutant dick question and I’m mostly in. If you’ve watched any of the X-Men movies or cartoons or read a comic book you know the basics: Wolverine is a dude experimented on who was given an adamantium metal alloy skeleton, superhuman powers, and giant murder claws. Here’s some of the case for his dick being restored to its unpacked store-bought state:

Wolverine’s natural healing factor, which works at the cellular level to reverse any damage done to his living tissue, has been analyzed by real-life scientists and engineers in recent decades. There’s even a synthetic material in the works, inspired specifically by one engineer’s love for Wolverine comics.

Since circumcision is technically a wound, it’s possible that Wolverine’s foreskin would have grown back when his healing factor appeared, which happened when he was a young teen. But that raises another question: Did the sudden arrival of instant mending retroactively regenerate foreskin, even though it was a wound from over a decade ago?

It seems like these days a lot of the anti-circumcision people are the louder voice in dick skin management with the argument that it’s barbaric to cut a foreskin off, that keeping it makes things more sensitive, there are a ton of credible arguments. But I’m a circumcised guy who had no choice in the matter and, frankly, I’m okay with that. Saying that his foreskin would heal up is almost saying like all of us who don’t have foreskins are mangled and in need of Weapon X to make us whole. And frankly I don’t want to live in that world. Just because your dick doesn’t have a cape to tug on or look like it might get shot in a Florida neighborhood carrying Skittles and Arizona Iced Tea doesn’t make it less than whole.

And if we’re ignoring my multitude of personal feelings about a nice clean circumcised cock (no way this sentence will ever be taken out of context), I still say Wolverine’s foreskin wouldn’t heal. If he had the mutant powers while he was getting it cut, absolutely, that flesh is healing up over and over with a very frustrated doctor or mohel. But since he presumably got his dick touched up long before the days he got his mutant powers surgically inserted, I’m going to say that Wolverine was indeed slinging Jean Gray a fully circumcised and functional dick. Might even be a little harder with the adamantium in the blood. Great dick all around on that Wolverine.