Nice To See Susquehanna University Football Is Still Doing Great Things (NSFL)

“Ankle strength, men. Ankle strength.” – Former Susquehanna DC Bob James

GREAT to see my D-III alma-mater on the Interwebs for all the right reasons. It doesn’t matter if it’s kicking kids off the football team for a harmless Harlem Shake video, the PC Police changing their 100+ year-old nickname Crusaders to something millenials won’t possibly be upset over (which is amazing because Crusaders was pretty damn generic), vacating their wins for an entire year and imposing a self suspension because a booster was flat out paying tuitions, or putting me on the FBI watch list (seriously). The River Hawk will never die, no matter how badly it sometimes deserves to be shot down. And now we have the only QB on the Spring roster turn his ankle to a right angle playing intramural coed basketball hoops. I repeat, intramural COED basketball. Nice to see the priorities of impressing chicks and getting laid continue to outweigh the significance of staying healthy to win on the football field – As they should. If this results in getting a dozen 20 cent beers and pity handy while posted up at Bots, it may be worth it. Godspeed, young Crusader. Have Keeney wrap that bad boy up and you’ll be good in no time.

Hey coach, we still have another year of NCAA eligibility if you want us to come out and help the squad. This is where I’d put in the ol’ college highlight film to prove my worth, but when you win only 10 games in 4 years (4 victories in the two seasons you actually played), there ain’t no highlights. I regret nothing*. Solid flow, though.

*I meant almost everything. Really, really, really wish I went to a big time school and partied my dick to the bone. Only way to live college life.

UPDATE: Looks like someone finally decided to rub some dirt on it: