Michigan State Bro Goes Viral For His "Dating Resume" That He Sent Out To Try And Go To Formal

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Annnnnnd this is how you stand out in the dating scene in 2017. Can’t just ask a girl on a date and show up to her front door with some flowers and a button down shirt. That shit is wayyyy played out. Need to make a splash, need to really impress her – need to do something on the internet and go viral.

Enter – the dating resume from Michigan State junior Joseph A. Adams, Lubricants Consultant.

Solid GPA.  Solid internship = solid career opportunity in a burgeoning industry.  People forget oil is very lucrative.

“Religious functions” concerns me.  Anybody whose chart of their time spent features that much religious functioning is a big red flag for me.  Almost much of a red flag as making a dating resume.

If you don’t cry during Marley & Me you’re a psychopath, sociopath, all the paths, so that’s a good sign.

My dude spent more time on this dating resume trying to get a formal date than I have for any job at any point in my life.  Pure dedication to trying to get to a formal.

Oh, and the best part about this story?

The dude didn’t get the date.

Never even got to meet the girl.

Sadly, Adams’ didn’t get the date, even though he was — in his words — “DTF (down to formal).”
In fact, he never even wound up meeting the girl.

“Ashley informed me that the mysterious suitor has since asked another guy to formal. I never actually talked with the girl who originally needed a date, just Ashley, who originally made the Facebook post,” he said.

Ashley Harrington told BuzzFeed News that she “was definitely rooting for Joe to be chosen!” [Buzzfeed News]

Something to add to the Experience section: Getting cucked.