Giants Reportedly Lock Up JPP With A 4-Year, $68 Million Contract (Update: Maybe Not?)

Alright Jason, you big athletic monstrous freak! Lets focus on winning Super Bowl 52 and avoid the M80s! Dak, Carson, and Kirk (for one more year) can’t be happy that the French Connection will be all up in their kitchen for the foreseeable future. I honestly have no clue if the Giants can open up some more space to get Jonathan Hankins back, but it’s nice to know that the GMen, a team that prides itself on a great pass rush, should be gucci for years*. With Eli only likely to play for a few more years, it’s time to go all-in with a sick defense and an improved offense.

*As long as he doesn’t blow off any more fucking digits.

UPDATE: Ummmmmm

I need Adam Schefter to leak JPP’s bank records and get to the bottom of this!