A Funeral With Girls Twerking On The Coffin Seems Like A Fun Time To Me

Now this is a fucking funeral I want to go to. I don’t know why everything has to be so solemn and glum at a funeral. Sure your family member or friend is dead and you will never speak to them again. But you can spend your time being a Negative Nancy at the wake. Isn’t life about having fun and remembering the good times? We are all just specks of dust floating in the wind that use stupid shit like sports and dumb videos like this to forget how fragile life is. Every funeral should be a goddamn party with music blaring and chicks shaking their ass mere inches above your corpse.

And no matter how vain you are, everyone wants a packed funeral. Which is more likely to draw a crowd: Some depressing ass service where everyone is dressed in black and crying or a party that morphs into a Girls Gone Wild commercial? I mean you can even break up the funeral into three parts like a wedding. Part 1 is the slow, mushy stuff that includes any family traditions for the older people. Part two is kind of a mixing of the young and the new. Maybe serve a meal during this part (along with open bar, obviously). And then part three is when all the young kids are dancing like maniacs on the dance floor/coffin and the old people are either wall flowers or embarrassing themselves trying to keep up with the kids. And if you don’t have any attractive, limber friends to twerk on your coffin, I’m sure the local gentleman’s club wouldn’t mind providing a few for a fair price. Now we are creating jobs and great memories out of a day that used to be sad. People helping people.

h/t bso