Surviving Barstool | New Episodes Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 8PM ETTUNE IN

Ed Sheeran Says He Slept With A Whole Bunch Of Taylor Swift's Friends

Screen Shot 2017-03-08 at 1.19.51 PM

NYDN- Ed Sheeran is somehow Taylor-made for an elite group of girls. The English singer-songwriter revealed in a new interview with Rolling Stone that he “often” spent time waking up next to the young women from Taylor Swift’s squad. “It was very easy,” Sheeran told the magazine. “I was this 22-year-old awkward British kid going on tour with the biggest artist in America, who has all these famous mates. I would often find myself in situations just kind of waking up and looking over and being like, ‘How the f–k did that happen?'” While the 26-year-old redhead kissed but didn’t tell any names, we can make a few assumptions by simply taking a look at T-Swift’s social media photos.

You know what? Good for him. I feel like I’ve shit on Ed Sheeran in the past because he’s just so goddamn ugly and it makes me mad that he gets tons of pussy but I’m turning over a new leaf for the human-sized Chucky the doll. He should take advantage of everything that’s given to him, including pussy from Taylor Swift’s friends. Have sex with all of them. Have sex with Taylor and her friends. You know what? Have sex with Taylor and her friends all at the same time. Have as much sex with them as humanly possible because this type of stuff can get snatched away in an instant. Ed is living such a #blessed life that I’m now happy for him. He’s like a Make A Wish in terms of his looks. Obviously he’s incredibly talented and all that but those looks wouldn’t play in any other universe if he had, say, my talents. He’d just be another schmuck on the street trying (and failing) to get laid. So keep it up, Ed. You’re the famous guy from The Ugly Guys Collective who made it. You’d be doing all of us a disservice if you didn’t put your dick inside girls who are light years outta your league.