Eating Peeps Oreos Apparently Turns Your Mouth And Shit Pink

Thrillist- The new Peeps Oreos — filled with a vibrant shade of pink creme — are leaving people with an unexpected surprise in the toilet bowl: pink poops. The culprit behind the shimmering pixie turds is an FDA-approved food dye called FD&C Red Number 3. The substance also dyes people’s saliva and tongues the same color, but the far more newsworthy item here pertains to the brilliant streaks of pink cascading down the side of your porcelain throne. The saliva effect was first noted by The Junk Food Guy, but people across the internet noticed shortly afterword, prompting what can only be described as #Peepgate. Or #Poopgate. Or #Pinkpeepeepoopoopgate. You get the idea.

Son of a BITCH. I have been railing against these Peeps Oreos for months now for the simple reason that Peeps are the worst candy in the planet but for some reason people like eating that pastel crunchy marshmallow dog shit. Oreos teaming with them is like Hulk Hogan teaming up with the Brooklyn Brawler for the sake of giving a a bum some shine off an established superstar. But now that this pink shit news broke, I can’t hate on people eating Peeps Oreos one bit. Being able to knowingly change your shit to different colors sounds fun as fuck. Especially if it’s an outrageous color like pink. If you forget that you ate green food coloring the day after St. Patrick’s Day, your heart goes in your stomach when your hangover shit is green the next day. You probably already feel like death as is and seeing green in the toilet is just the Grim Reaper giving you a heads up that he is probably coming before dinner time. But pink shit is a horse of a different color. Same with spitting pink for an entire day for fun.

So fuck you Peeps for backing into this awesome spin zone and having two chicks try to convince the internet that girls poop. I will now step up my anti-Peeps propaganda for the rest of Lent so nobody with a brain is buying them for Easter Sunday. Who has time for that bullshit when Cadbury Eggs and Reese’s Eggs are in season alongside Starburst Jellybeans anyway? Fuck you Peeps.

That being said, 15 second review (and another review that will be conducted without video a few hours later) coming soon.