Barbara Streisand Claims Donald Trump Is Making Her Fat

Hollywood elite Barbra Streisand has admitted to packing on the pounds as of late—and you’ll never guess whom the fat singer is blaming for the weight gain.

Okay, yes you will.

It’s President Donald Trump’s fault, because everything is Trump’s fault.

Listen, I love calling people triggered snowflakes in jest. I love mocking the pepe lefrog nazi trolls that spend their morning talking about the need to purify America of all non white culture, and their afternoon playing their Playstation4 taking breaks only to masturbate to Japanese anime porn on their iphone6, all the while not understanding how hilariously contradictory their entire life is. I love it. But in this specific case, Barbara Streisand is being a triggered snowflake. Listen, Babs, I’m a guy who has come up with every excuse in the book for getting fat. You find an excuse for weight gain and Ive probably said it out loud a million times over. I’m the guy who decided he wasn’t going to the gym in solidarity with Kyle Schwarber’s 6 month long injury last year. But this, this is too far. Just admit you want the pancakes, no one will give a fuck, just say I ate pancakes because I have no will power and pancakes are delicious. That’s why I eat pancakes, not because of Donald Trump,  but because pancakes are delicious and eating them makes me happy. So go find your safe space, Barbara. Donald Trump can be a lot of things, but making people fat from stress, give me a fucking break.