Dangle Days Weekend Recap: Classes Are In Session At Sauce U
Tyson Jost was the 10th overall pick in last year’s draft to Colorado. Instead of playing for that shit storm of a franchise that is the Avalanche, he took his talents to North Dakota to play for the reigning national champs this year. The Sioux have a tough road ahead of them if they think they’re going to repeat but this right here is the type of goal that can spark a championship run. Just so preposterously smooth with it. Almost looked like a lax dodge coming from X right there. Dumps his defender’s stick, slams on the breaks, cuts back inside, breaks a set of ankles, goes roof job with it and that’s all for the win, bitches. Pure filth from the freshman. And speaking of Tyson Jost and the Sioux….
This goal from Brock Boeser on the same night is some real mesmerizing shit. The amount of luck that goes into this play need to be acknowledged at the very least. But if the boys want to play this off as a set play then I think they’ve earned that right. What a beauty. Poor tendy didn’t stand a chance. Fuckin’ sieve. Now going from last year’s champs to last year’s first losers….
Quinnipiac freshman Nick Jermain has just 4 goals and 1 assist in 20 games so far this season. However, this was so fucking raw that I’m counting it as a 10 spot. Toe drag, off the skate, backhand forehand backhand, finish. Need to start uploading these dangles to Pornhub. And giving Nick Jermain a run for his money for “Toe Drag of the Week”….
This is how you know the Hockey Gods were looking out for an A1 highlight here. Our boy had no business scoring off that shot. The toe drag was so dirty that I need to take a shower just from watching it. But it started to get away from him a bit, he lost control of his body, and it was looking like it was going to be another failed toe drag lost in the wind. That is, of course, until Evan Richardson was touched by the hands of the Hockey Gods as they guided that biscuit into the basket and now we have the type of highlight that gets you laid every weekend from now until graduation. Good for him. Good for the Huskies.
That John Denver’s Full Of Shit
What a weekend for college puck. You can tell these kids were enjoying the weather getting a little warmer. You start to see all the puck bunnies start to wear less. The babes are showing a little more skin and the boys are showing a lot more silk. Here’s Florida Panthers’ prospect Henrik Borgstrom just saucing all over the offensive zone. Just wheelin’ like only a true beauty knows how. Unreal set of moves on this kid. Also you can tell that he’s always FTB. A dickhead would have ended up forcing a shot there after dicing up the D like that. But Henrik Borgstrom isn’t a selfish prick. He’s there to set up his boys. That’s the kind of wing man you want to hang around with. Feel like a few people here could learn a thing or two from Borgstrom in that sense…
Your “The Flyers Are Fucking Trash But At Least This Goal Was Pretty Slick” Goal Of The Week
I really don’t want to talk about the Stadium Series. I really don’t want to talk about the Flyers. Both of them make me want to jump in front of the next train I see and end it all so I don’t have to watch them any more. With that being said… somebody needs to take Justin Schultz to Modell’s so he can buy a new jock strap. He appeared to lose his on this play right here from Jake Voracek. What a power move from the power ass to get himself to the net and stuff that one home. Obviously the Penguins got the last laugh with the W but gotta give Jake the goal of the game here. Speaking of “laughs” and “penguins”, however, enjoy….
^^only highlights I really cared about from that game.
Your “One Punch Night Night” Of The Week
Good news for Jeff Carter is the whole “only being able to eat through a straw for the next few months” thing will do wonders for his beach bod. Summer is right around the corner, folks. Gonna be toned AF. Fuck Ryan Kesler though. That’s a great right bomb. But fuck Ryan Kesler nonetheless.
Lax Goals Of The Week
Philly Fakeout
I went over to Drexel on Saturday to catch our boys at Albany put on a clinic against the Dragons. If there’s anything that lives up to the hype in person as much as how incredibly ridiculous the goons on that roster look, it’s Connor Fields. Kid is insane amounts of creative. He had 6 and 4 in Albany’s 19-8 win over Drexel and this fake BTB to an inside roll to a righty finish was when you know he’s feeling himself. Sick sick sick. And now we go from a current Dane to a former Dane…
Just Blaze
Listen. I’m not just gonna not blog about when Blaze Riorden goes out there looking agile, nimble and athletic as fuck in the NLL. Keep in mind, this is the same kid that scored this goal for Albany just a couple short years ago
And you thought Glenny Balls was deceptively fast. I’ve never needed anything more in my life than for the Wings to pick up Big Daddy Blaze in the expansion draft when they come back to town in 2019. Maybe Blaze will want to move into an apartment with me and we can be best bros for life. But until then, I’ll take more goals like these.
And that’s a wrap. Thanks for stopping by. Stay saucy, my friends.