Kim Jon Un's Brother Killed By Female Assassins Via Poisoning

NY Post- Two female assassins brandishing poison needles killed the casino-loving half-brother of North Korean despot Kim-Jong-un inside a Malaysian airport, according to a stunning new report.

Kim Jong-nam was walking through the airport in the capital city of Kuala Lumpur on Monday morning, when the two women made a beeline for him, plunging the “poison needles” into his body, The Telegraph reported Tuesday.

Jong-nam was going to be the heir apparent to Kim Jong Il until his arrest in 2001, when authorities caught him with a fake Dominican Republic passport in Tokyo’s Narita Airport. He told police that he and his family were on their way to Tokyo’s Disneyland.

After the embarrassing bust, Jong-nam became a pariah in the eyes of his powerful father and lived in exile in Macau – Asia’s center for Las Vegas-style casino gambling.

Damn. We lost a good man in Kim Jong Nam. Look at that face. He looks like a hedgehog. The guy had no interest in power; just loved Disneyland, gambling, eating, and wearing newsboy caps like Leo Dicaprio. Total playboy, dripping sex from every pore. Used a fake Dominican passport to get around. (Sidenote: Kim- if you’re going to use a fake passport, how about choosing a citizenship you could pull off? Say… any other Asian country? Unless you can throw 97 on the black, you’re not fooling anyone with the Dominican Republic you beautiful chubby bastard.)

How about his death though? Straight out of Kill Bill. Two female assassins zeroing in on you like a pair of sharks, with poison syringes at the ready. I hope to God he didn’t see them coming and was just ordering himself some Cinnabon at the airport, or mindlessly pulling the lever on a slot machine. I like to think he died doing what he loved.