You Shouldn't Always Try To Kill Your Mother For Trying To Change The Channel

NY Post- A Pennsylvania man tried to kill his mother for switching the channel on their TV, according to a new report. David F. Cantrell got into a heated argument with his mom in their home on Jean Drive in Bath, PA, after she switched the station at around 8:30 p.m. Tuesday, Lehigh Valley Live reported. Cantrell, 42, became so “enraged” that he clocked his mother in the mouth and body slammed her to the floor, the newspaper said. He then screamed, “I hope you die!” and choked her until she fell unconscious, police said. When she regained consciousness, she managed to break away from her son and report the assault to a neighbor. Police were called and arrested Cantrell on charges of aggravated assault, simple assault and harassment.

Gee Willikers. Upset of the Century. Usually being over 300 bells, at least 40-years-old, and rocking a handlebar mustache or a sweet goatee is a tell-tale sign that a guy loves his mom. The type of guy who doesn’t show it on the outside, but really feels the love on the inside. Maybe even lives at home with her because she’s his baby boy. I love my mom and I’ve guaranteed myself by the time I hit the big 4-0 I’ll be looking like David Cantrell with some great facial hair of my own.

So Dave…It is not normal to go around trying to kill the woman that birthed you just because she changed the channel….unless of course you were watching your favorite show. Hate to say it, but it’s an easy free pass on murder if you were trying to see what hijinx Guy Fieri got himself into this week while trying some gangster grub on the newest episode of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. That’s fair, but if you were just tuning into re-runs of Say Yes to the Dress than fuck you. Your mom should kill you back.