The Eagles Have Fired WR Coach Greg Lewis Because I'm Sure That'll Make A Difference

PHILLYi – The Eagles fired wide receivers coach Greg Lewis after one season, the team confirmed on Monday. Yahoo Sports was first to report that Lewis was out. The Eagles’ receivers, particularly Nelson Agholor and Dorial Green-Beckham, struggled most of the 2016 season. The outside receivers combined to catch just 72 passes for 757 yards and four touchdowns. Slot receiver Jordan Matthews led all Eagles receivers with 73 catches for 804 yards and three touchdowns. It’s difficult to say with any certainty who was more responsible for the failures of the group. Lewis walked into a difficult situation, but none of the receivers appeared to make any improvement, and in some cases regressed — at least statistically.

Lord Jesus, it’s a miracle! All of the Eagles problems are magically resolved with one felt swoop from above! Time to look half baked 24/7 somewhere other than the sidelines, Gregory. No, Lewis wasn’t a good coach. Was it his fault he was given the worst WR core in the known universe? No. There’s no coach out there who can fix the fact our WR’s don hooves for hands:

But you play with the cards you’re dealt – Even if the hand is 7-2 offsuit, dipped in dogpiss, and lit on fire. Maybe he could’ve fired up DGB to actually look like he wants to run a route or throw Nelson Algohlor under the bus. Literally. But it was painfully obvious from the jump Greg Lewis brought nothing to the table. He was an average WR who, like almost every other receiver Andy Reid would employ (Todd Pinkston, Freddie Mitchell, Billy Goddamn McMullen), wouldn’t have survived in the league for years if it wasn’t for Big Red. Again, maybe if he got some players like those high profile FA studs Ruben Randle and Chris Givens, things would be different. But this guy never helped his own situation.

Now we’ll see if DeSean Jackson can revive this group from the wrong side of 30. And D-Jax returning to the Eagles is the most money thing in the history of predictions. There’s a way for Howie Roseman to improve the team via waxing the balls of the Andy Reid era AND give a fuck you to Chip Kelly? Win-win. Also, can’t wait to see what former average Eagles player who is going to be hired solely cause they can play nice with the administration. Translation: Welcome back, Jason Avant.