Jason Day Formally Announces That He's Signed An Apparel Deal With Nike

This isn’t breaking news. A report came out back in September that Jason Day was signing with Nike for an estimate $10M per year. This just makes it official.

Here’s what I wrote back in September

This only felt like a matter of time. At least to me. Winners wear Nike. The #1 player in the world wears Nike. That’s how I was brought up. That’s what I watched Tiger Woods dominate in. And sure, Jason Day has done his share of winning (LOTS of winning) over the last couple of years with TaylorMade-Adidas but wearing Nike will make him even better. It just will. Nike golfers walk like they have a bigger dick than guys with Adidas or even Under Armour clothing. Have you ever watched Rory walk? He walks like he’s got a baseball bat swinging between his knees. Nike brings about a certain air of confidence. It also probably doesn’t hurt that Tiger is Jason Day’s mentor. On the more business side, Nike may have gotten out of golf clubs but they still wanna dominate the clothing industry. Jason will play on his share of Sundays and that’s exactly where Nike wants their famous swoosh displayed. $10M ain’t a bad chunk of change either.

I still feel the exact same way as I did then. It’s a scientific fact that Nike-sponsored golfers have bigger dicks than the rest of the field. Look it up. Drop those drawers and let’s measure some dicks. I’ll bet Day’s dick grew at least 3 inches the day he signed on that Nike dotted line. You’ll be able to tell. If you do a side-by-side from before Jason Day was sponsored by Nike and then after, you’ll be able to see a noticeable difference in the way he walks and it’s because he now has a larger dick. It’ll also make him a better golfer cause no company gives a golfer more confidence than Nike. That’s the Tiger effect. Those early years still linger in the minds of the next generation. No doubt. Nike now sponsors the current #1 in the world and the current #2 in the world. Pretty good I guess.

PS- Despite Nike’s best efforts with their awesome ad-making abilities, we still don’t quite understand why Jason lives in Ohio other than his wife is from there.