Shaq Says Pat Riley Once Held His Breath Underwater For 8 Minutes, Proving That Pat Riley Is Indeed The Devil

Fast forward to 3:45

Well I don’t know about you, but that was the last straw for me. Pat Riley is officially the devil. Lucifer. Satan. Or at least The Antichrist. Holding your breath underwater for 5 minutes is something that no untrained person should be able to do. Doing it for 8 minutes is downright ridiculous. That’s the entire length of Stairway To Heaven! But to top it off in an ice bucket makes Riles some sort of demon. There was an entire challenge that raised a kabillion dollars because getting hit with ice water is so jarring to the system. But Pat The Rat just dunked his head in frigid water and patitenly waited until he was bored to come up just to prove a point to his team. I bet the one part of the story that Shaq is leaving out is that the water went from ice to boiling after Riley stuck his head in there. If the rings, being seemingly ageless and convincing LeBron to announce that he was leaving his home state on national TV didn’t prove Riley was El Diablo, this story certainly does.

Fuck Pat Riley.