It Might Be Illegal To Post A Child Getting Murdered, But I'm Going To Do It Anyway

And that’s how ya make soccer players, folks! This poor kid just got schlamboozled into the past decade after that wallop. I would say he laid the wood, but at that age it’s probably more like laying the Lincoln Log. And for those still groggy on a Wednesday, that’s a kids-have-little-dicks joke.

It’s a tough precedent for this kid to set, being such a heavy hitter at such a young age. Now people are going to expect nothing less than earth shattering hits from him or else it’ll be a let down. This kid is going to need to turn into Bill Romanowski, carrying around a tray full of pills to mitigate the crippling physical and mental ailments attached to his unquenchable blood-lust on the football field. He’s going to wind up like an old hockey enforcer, with his life defined and driven by the need to abuse his own body to please others.

Either that or he’ll get into Pokemon next year and quit football.

And now, some more child-on-child crime.

If you liked CTE, you’ll love his little brother PreTE.