Does This Look Like The Face Of A Man Whose Grandpa Was Banished From Bavaria?

A historian has discovered a royal decree issued to Donald Trump’s grandfather ordering him to leave Germany and never come back.

Friedrich Trump, a German, was issued with the document in February 1905, and ordered to leave the kingdom of Bavaria within eight weeks as punishment for having failed to do mandatory military service and failing to give authorities notice of his departure to the US when he first emigrated in 1885.

Things seemed to work out pretty well for the Trump family. Despite having two patriarchs skip out on some military service, one member of the family managed to become the most powerful person in the world. The military isn’t for everyone. Far from it. I’m glad that the draft is nearly an archaic principle and that we don’t need hundreds of thousands to fight battles anymore. At least we won’t have two Presidents over the course of 20 years who sought deferments like we’ve had with Bill Clinton and Donald Trump.

Probably a good thing that Donald Trump didn’t end up in the military because he had bone spurs in his heels or whatever because if the report from NPR this morning is true and President-Elect Trump was very upset that NBC used pictures of him with a double chin, ole boy wouldn’t have lasted that long in boot camp.

I understand, though. I get fucking pissed when someone puts me on Instagram and I look bad. Being on NBC with multiple chins would be terrible. Credit where due, though. Trump was handsome as fuck as a young lad.