Nothing Like The Thrill Of A Great White Shark Hopping Into Your Cage To Swallow You Whole

Guess getting your face chewed off isn’t worth getting your name in the National Geographic now, eh scubaman? This isn’t a game. I’m not talkin’ about pleasure boatin’ or day sailin’. You tease a Carcharodon Carcharias with some flesh and all bets are off. If anything that Great White is one swimming pussy for allowing that guy to escape from his death trap unscathed. If that shark had any heart like Bruce or the one that went off script and killed Samuel L. Jackson way too early in Deep Blue Sea then the water would be filled with chum. Even so, I’d require the world’s supply of Jack Oak’s and Cokes before stepping foot in that steel box of death. I’m not trying to be a half-assed astronaut. Cage go in the water. You go in the water. Shark’s in the water. Our shark. Farewell and Adieu to you fair asshole tourists.

And now we’re watching Jaws clips for the rest of the day/life. Talk about your all-time Friday productivity.