I’m Legit Nervous About My Eye Situation

So people who have been paying attention the last couple days/months may have noticed that I have some sort of alien fungi growing beneath both my eyes. Two red rashes that I absolutely can’t get rid of. They are taking on the form of their host. Just an absolute dog. Impossible to kill. Bringing their lunch pail day in and day out. Relentless. Some days they look like they are getting better and than other days they look like they are here for good. At first I kind of laughed it off because I figured it would just go away. But after a couple weeks of it getting no better I finally went to see a dermatologist. They gave me some meds and said it was stress and it would go away. It didn’t. Then they gave me a steroid and said it would go away. It didn’t. Yesterday they gave me a stronger steroid and still no progress. Shit is getting real up in here. Like I’m kinda nervous this may be with me for life now which would be absolutely devastating. I’ve WEB MD’s the shit out of it and I have discovered I may have everything from Aids to just stress. Whatever the case may be I don’t think my current dermatologist can fix. And worse yet my insurance doesn’t even cover it so I’m paying a shit ton for nothing. Bottomline is I don’t know what’s happening but I know this. It’s tough to be the ultra confidence, handsome leader of men when you have disgusting eye disorders. I can barely even look myself in the mirror. And god forbid this is serious and I do have some life threatening disease well shame on everybody who keeps making fun of it. If I die and I kinda hope I do just to spite everybody it will be on your heads.

PS – If anybody knows a good derm or somebody who can get this shit off my eyes so I can start being a human again email me at tips@barstoolsports.com. #SaveMyEyes