Ben Simmons Knows A Thing Or Two About GAINS
Boom. 33 el bees in one off season. Pure Australian muscle right there. Looks like the former LSU star has been running Les Miles lately and lifting More Weights.
Have you all sat back down yet after giving me a standing ovation for that joke? Okay, good. Moving on.
Now here’s the only problem. I really don’t wanna snitch on my own man’s but I pray for the sake of Benjamin Franklin Simmons that nobody forces him to piss into a cup anytime soon. I’m not saying that steroids are the only answer here. But unless he’s been crushing nothing but scrambies with One Man Thrillride for the past 5 months, I don’t see how else he could have packed on that much mass. Maybe he went the Mac route and carries around a trash bag filled with chimichangas? I really don’t know. The only thing that I do know is that it’s a damn good thing that the NBA doesn’t test for this shit. Better safe than sorry. Between Ben looking like a Greek God and Joel looking Beast Mode as well
At least the Sixers can have the most svelt lineup in the league this season. Now somebody hit the music and come spot me, bro.