A New Character Named Penguin Is Joining The Winnie The Pooh Books
EW- A new character by the name of Penguin is joining Winnie-the-Pooh in the Hundred Acre Wood, Penguin Young Readers announced Monday. Penguin will appear in The Best Bear in All the World, a new 90th anniversary sequel to Winnie-the-Pooh, in a story titled “Winter: in which Penguin arrives.”
Author Brian Sibley was inspired by an obscure photograph of A.A. Milne and his son Christopher Milne (aka Christopher Robin) playing with a penguin toy alongside the bear that would become Winnie-the-Pooh. Christoper’s mom Daphne Milne may have bought the toy at Harrod’s like the other toys that would inspired the series’ beloved characters.
My knee jerk reaction to this story was to say fuck everything about this penguin. I hate all sorts of change, especially to my favorite childhood characters. Winnie The Pooh is basically the patron saint to all fat kids. Just slugging his honey and loving life. I was once called the Winnie The Pooh of my friends and it’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
I also hate the shit out of winter. It’s freezing outside, everyone’s sick, snow sucks once you have to drive to school or work. Plus Winnie The Pooh lives in a woods. And not just any woods but the HUNDRED ACRE WOOD. How the fuck is a penguin going to find his way from some iceberg to the middle of a hundred acre wood?
But the more I thought about this, the more the idea of this little Penguin son of a bitch grew on me. I love penguins. They are probably in my top 3 birds (along with the American bald eagle and hummingbirds). Winnie’s crew could probably use a little bit of a blood transfusion. First of all Rabbit is the whiniest bitch of all-time. Always complaining about Pooh’s weight or Tigger’s energy or his crops. Mr. Owl? Condescending as fuck just because he’s smarter than everyone else. And don’t even get me started on the black cloud known as Eeyore. The only friend of Pooh’s that I actually like is Piglet. And his speech impediment would drive me nuts within the first hour of meeting him. So I’m actually all in on this Penguin. If I’m Pooh, I move as far away as possible from all those assholes in the Hundred Acre Wood and spark up an Andy Dufresne + Red relationship on some beach with Penguin.
Related question: Penguins can’t die from the heat, right?