A Nickelodeon Amusement Park Is Coming To The Mall Being Built At The Meadowlands
FOX 5- A Nickelodeon theme park is coming to the long-delayed shopping and entertainment mall American Dream at the Meadowlands in New Jersey. It is called Nickelodeon Universe and will be open 365 days a year. The park will feature rides and attractions based on Nickelodeon’s SpongeBob SquarePants, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Blaze, the Monster Machines, and more. It will also have live shows, retail, games, entertainment, restaurants, and themed party rooms.
Developer Triple Five said the success of the Nickelodeon Universe theme park at the Mall of America in Minnesota makes the company excited to bring it to the tristate region. “The Nickelodeon Universe at American Dream will give kids and families in the New York Metro area the opportunity to interact with their favorite characters like SpongeBob and the Turtles on a grand scale, through rides, attractions and Nick-themed party and event spaces,” said Sarah Levy, the chief operating officer of Viacom Kids and Family Group, the parent company of Nickelodeon.
My God it’s beautiful. Simply beautiful. There are not enough Member Berries in the world that could give me a semi as strong as that picture could. Wait, that doesn’t sound right. But you know what I mean. Nostalgia runs your life once you are as old as I am, remembering the easier, simpler times. Granted I didn’t know that the Ninja Turtles were on Nickelodeon and have no idea who the fuck Blaze or the Monster Machines are. But I still love that this theme park is being built. Plus the one thing New Jersey needs is more malls. Okay, that’s a wildly untrue statement. However the real last thing New Jersey needed was an indoor ski jump like they were building at the Meadowlands. Dumbest idea ever.
Anyway, you figure that the big wigs at Nick will cater to older idiots like me at least a little bit, right? Just give me access to a Double Dare obstacle course, the Aggro Crag, and the ability to slime my family and friends with the simple press of a smartphone button. Think of all the #content possibilities! I won’t even ask for any Ren & Stimpy rides, Rugrats exhibits, or meet and greets with Marc Summers. I mean I’m not going to complain if those are in the park as well. But washed up bloggers can’t be choosers.
And since I ruined my life and now have a kid, I can go into places like this without looking like a complete creep. Add this on top of the fact that Benny Mac is 1000000% guiding the Giants to a Super Bowl this season and we have a a BIG year in store for the Meadowlands.
*If we are being honest, there’s only a 30% chance at best that this mall actually gets built. But it’s Friday, so lets be optimistic