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Marshawn Lynch, Our Country's Greatest Resource, Went Into The Woods With Bear Grylls

We need to put Marshawn on the endangered species list, or something. He’s a, extraordinarily precious resource and he must be treated as such. Can you imagine a world without Marshawn Lynch? A world devoid of laughter and runs that generate earth shaking responses from the crowd? That’s not a world I want to live in. He’s the most important thing in America right now. He’s the most important thing in American history, really. We’ve never given a gift to the world that’s as special as Marshawn. Freedom, electricity, the lightbulb, the internet, Toaster Strudles, all great things. There’s no doubt about that. But, there’s also no doubt that they all pale in comparison to Mr. Lynch.

I mean that wasn’t even some of his best stuff. For me, personally, it’s still playing Mortal Kombat with Gronk on Conan, but this was still great. Marshawn on his worst day is still must-see TV. It’s often debated who our generation’s Michael Jackson is and for my money, it’s Marshawn Lynch. Justin Timberlake has gotten the boot. Beast Mode is 10 times the entertainer both of them are/were, if we’re being honest with each other. Athlete, actor, comedian, he does it all. Put a camera in front of Marshawn Lynch and prepare to be wowed. 30 Rock had a joke where they were going to make “Seinfeld vision,” and plant Seinfeld in all their shows in order to help floundering ratings. I suggest doing the same with Lynch. Beast Vision. Because you can put him in ANYTHING and it’s going to be exponentially better than it is without him.