You've Gotta Be A Real Asshole To Write An Article Titled "How To Talk To A Woman Who Is Wearing Headphones"
As you can imagine, this article is getting the “harassment” and “sexist” and “women don’t owe you their time, MEN” treatment. It’s getting it pretty heavy. While I don’t even think it’s that deep or difficult, I suppose it’s fair. Anyone who would dare to try any of those moves is an ASSHOLE of the highest order. Imagine standing a set distance from a woman, wearing a creepy smile, then demanding she take her headphones off so you can talk to her for a minute and actually thinking that would work? I gotta be honest, part of me definitely envies this guy’s misguided sense of self-confidence. I could have a woman laying naked in my bed with a notarized letter that says, “FUCK ME. PLEASE. I WANT YOU,” and my first thought would still be, “Ehhhh this chick doesn’t think I’m shit. No way she’s serious.”
But as for the idea of the article itself, it should be a very short one. The title should read, “How to talk to a woman who is wearing headphones,” and the body should simply say, “Don’t. Don’t ever talk to a woman wearing headphones. Also don’t talk to a man wearing headphones. Don’t even talk to a dog wearing headphones, no matter how adorable he is.” Trying to talk to someone with headphones in is INSANE. The only reason I’m wearing headphones is because a If you talk to me I’ll cut your fucking throat shirt is too aggressive to wear in public.
Most of the time I’m “listening to music” I’m not even “listening to music.” I’m simply wearing headphones to block out any noise of the world. It’s my adult version of plugging my ears and yelling “LALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU! LEAVE ME ALONE!” I wear headphones in the street so homeless dudes don’t ask me for money. I wear headphones on airplanes so the dude sitting next to me doesn’t try and start a three hour friendship. I wear headphones at work so my co-workers don’t talk to me. I wear headphones on the subway so sexy girls don’t try any funny business. I’m RARELY ever actually listening to music, I’m just choosing the discomfort of Apple earbuds over the discomfort of human interaction. I don’t care who you are, if you ask me to take out my headphones then I’m going to hate you and your family for the rest of time. I’ll pray every night that your mom gets cancer. Writing an article assuming you can break that barrier and avoid that fate is absolutely preposterous. Fuck this dude.