Taylor Swift Skipped The VMAs Because She Had Jury Duty Today Like A Normal Human

Two things here. One, who the hell does the government think they are making celebrities go to jury duty? Once you get, like, 100,000 followers on Twitter you should immediately be excused from jury duty for life. No lawyer would ever put Taylor Swift on a jury so making her sit their all day is time theft. It’s a stone’s throw from kidnapping. Excused from jury duty, no speed limits, and you can kill hookers: that’s what famous people should be awarded for their fame.

Secondly, kind of a win for Taylor, right? She has taken a quick fall from grace once Kanye and Kim decided to reveal that she’s the fakest chick going so probably best to avoid being in the same room as them, right? Like no one ever really wants to go to jury duty unless there’s a chance you end up on the the Scranton Strangler’s case, but Taylor had to be a bit relieved when she saw the date on this one. Perfect reason to not be sitting in the crowd, getting zoomed in on as Kanye stands on stage and talks about how you’re a fucking liar for pretending he never called you and asked for your permission to rap about you. Pretty lonely feeling sitting there while the world remembers the time you played the victim for some fake feminist campaign. Much better to sit in a courthouse among a bunch of simple Tennesseeans who think you’re just the bee’s knees.

PS – Hope Tracy doesn’t sue me for using her pictures.

PPS – This guy does not give a fuckkkkk about your selfie, Taylor.