A Bunch Of Drunk Americans Illegally Washed Up Onto The Canadian Border After Their River Float Party Got Blown Off Course

TORONTO — About 1,500 Americans floating down a river that separates the US from Canada had to be rescued from the water when strong rains and winds sent them illegally into Canadian territory, the country’s coast guard said on Monday. The Americans were taking part in the annual Port Huron Float Down on Sunday in the St. Clair River, which runs between the US state of Michigan and the Canadian province of Ontario. The winds blew the flotilla of inflatable rafts and inner tubes off course and toward the Canadian shore. Some rafts deflated, spurring a rescue effort by the Canadian Coast Guard as well as federal and provincial police, coast guard spokeswoman Carol Launderville said in an email. Most “floaters” had to be rescued from the water, with many towed to shore, according to the coast guard. “They were terrified of entering another country without documentation. No one carries their passport or any ID, and a lot were drinking alcohol,” Peter Garapick, the superintendent of search and rescue for the coast guard, told CBC television.

First of all, that’s hilarious. I’m not a guy who likes any body of water really but I LOVE LOVE LOVE river parties. Any activity where you put me on a floating device, stock it with booze and send me down a river I’m 100% okay with. Drinking and floating is a top-3 life activity. Also, and most importantly, how scared were the people of Canada that America had finally decided to invade and conquer? That has to be on the minds of Canadians at all times. They know we have the strongest military in the world. They know it would take less than .000001% of our force to wipe them off the face of existence. Canadians have to be thinking it’s only a matter of time before the U S of A decides we want their territory. So I gurantee they thought those drunken Americans in their inflated tubes were highly-trained Navy SEALs. Breaching their shores, eating their poutine and laying with their women. Not yet, Canada. Not yet…………

h/t mark