So I Think I Just Accidentally Bought Myself Some Lady Perfume

So a couple months ago I wrote a blog about how I was getting back in the cologne game. Well after I wrote that blog I got some as a gift and it was fucking awesome. Chicks literally passing out left and right when I walked by. (Yes I know everybody wants the name of it, but no fucking chance dude. A magician never gives away his secrets.) Anyway the problem is I ran out recently and I had no idea where to buy it. I thought they sold it at Barneys which is close to where I live so I went over there to get a refill. Turns out they didn’t have my brand so I just started smelling a bunch of new ones. I had no idea the names or what I was smelling at the time. The clerk was just spraying stuff on these sticks and letting me smell.

Well this is what I just fucking bought.

It’s for chicks! When I finally saw the name of it I was like “are you serious dude? You’re selling me a girl’s perfume as a cologne?” He said “don’t worry I wouldn’t do you like that” and it’s a unisex fragrance. He said guys who buy it just say they are wearing “Portrait” and not Portrait of a Lady” when people ask. Gee ya think!!!!!!! But I just read the description and it’s a straight perfume! The fucking name of it is Portrait of a Lady! No other way to describe it. I’m strutting around like I got tits now. But this is the fragrance I picked out. Nobody put a gun to my head. I openly chose to smell like a lady. I’m so fucking rattled I don’t even know what to do with myself. Am I a sneaky transgender? Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I think I am if I’m wearing Portrait of A Lady. “By The Common Lady For the Common Lady?