This Video Of Tim Tebow Hitting In A Batting Cage Has Me Convinced That He Can Make It To The Big Leagues
Listen, I know people are going to say that Tim Tebow’s stance is too wide and his swing is too long and blah blah blah. But Tebow was batting .450 in high school with that swing. Tebow only failed in the NFL after everyone tried to change his mechanics. They didn’t want the guy that won a million games down in The Swamp against SEC powerhouses. Maybe if Tebow had told everyone to suck an egg (no way says dick), ol’ number 15 would still be lacing them up for the Broncos in Mile High. But that’s neither here nor there. This is about the next step.
Sure the minors are a whole new ballgame for Tebow’s swing. And we won’t even dream about the Majors yet. But that is the body of an athlete. I haven’t seen a baseball player look like that since the steroid era. And if Tebow isn’t succumbing to pre-marital sex, he sure as fuck isn’t succumbing to steroids. In the eternal words of Prop Joe from The Wire “Look the part, be the part, motherfucker”. And Tim Tebow has the body of a slugger from the mid-90s that could put up about 35 homers in an off year.
And you cannot discount the sound the ball makes when it comes off of Tebow’s bat. It sounds different than most baseball players. Scouts love that shit. And remember when Ted Williams and Tony Gwynn talked about the smell of burnt wood after fouling a ball off? Maybe Tebow just burns a little bit of wood under the stands where the scouts are sitting for his workout. Plus name me another sport where random acts of God are more prevalent than baseball. And everyone knows that Tim Tebow and God are best friends.
Tim Richard Tebow, coming soon to a Major League ballpark near you thanks to the power of Christ and those forearms.
*Disclaimer: I think I drank about three glasses of Skip Bayless “Pro-Tebow” Kool-Aid as I wrote this blog