Dirk Nowitzki Risks It All For A Bicycle Kick And Looks Amazingly Nonathletic For A NBA Hall Of Famer

Oh Dirk, you silly Aryan you. Even if contact was made the ball would go in the exact opposite direction of the net. 7-foot tall basketball players with a body that’s getting more brittle by the second should not be risking life and limb on a bicycle kick worthy of Pele. Mark Cuban’s nuts still haven’t dropped out from his stomach after watching his prized possession almost break his neck on the pitch. Still a more worthy attempt than his penalty kick.

Juuuusssssst a bit outside. He tried the corner and missed. How can anyone not like this guy? Dirk’s still a kid in a 7-foot NBA HOF’ers body. Or maybe he’s essentially Mark Cuban’s foreign monkey the billionaire can ingeniously market any way the he wants. To each their own. Seriously though, Dirk’s soccer skills may be lacking, but his singing abilities would make Helen Keller’s ears bleed. I would rather listen to Whoopi Goldberg and Barbara Walters endure a queef-off than hear whatever that special needs ogre is spewing out of his orifice. Great ballplayer, though.

#NeverForgetWeCouldHaveHadHimOrPaulPierceButNOPEWeTookLarryFuckingHughes