Pokemon Go Forcing A Florida Zoo To Put Up Signs About Not Going Into Restricted Areas And Causing A Couple To Sneak Into An Ohio Zoo Are The Most 2016 Stories Ever

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First we check in with the black sheep of America AKA Florida:

NBC 2-The Naples Zoo is warning Pokemon Go players to stay out of restricted sections of the zoo. Some Pokestops, or points of interest that give you free items, are in employees-only areas, which prompted zoo personnel to contact game developers and ask them to move the stops into public areas. It hasn’t happened yet. “We came actually to watch animals but then we saw how many Pokemon stops were here, so that was a bonus,” player Ashley Shepherd said. Signs have been put up urging people to respect zoo boundaries. “It has the potential to lure guests into areas where they don’t belong,” Scott Johnson said.
Employees don’t want players to start jumping over fences just to catch their next Pokemon. “It’s going to end up not being a whole lot of fun,” Johnson said. “Even if they don’t get injured by an animal, if they are found by all employees most likely they’ll be escorted out of the zoo.” Shepherd loves the game but says she knows where the line is. “I would never do that but I think some people definitely would,” she said. “Some people are really crazy about this game so you have to be careful when you play.”

And then whatever colored sheep of America that you think Ohio is:
Inside Edition- Two Pokemon Go players found themselves under arrest Thursday after they hopped over a fence at a local zoo in Toledo, Ohio, after closing hours. Robin Bartholomy, 25, and Adrian Crawford, 26, were found sitting by the zoo’s tiger exhibit when they were apprehended by police. The pair allegedly broke into the zoo around 2:30 a.m. while hunting for Pokemon. The arrest occurred without incident, police sources reported. “Security at the zoo noticed there were two people walking by the tiger exhibit,” Lt. Joe Heffernan, a public information officer with the Toledo police told Inside Edition. “They’ll have to go see a judge and get a court date and explain what they’re doing.” In a now deleted Facebook post, Bartholomy, a University of Toledo graduate, said she would be willing to break the law in search of the game’s characters.
Ohio’s criminal code classifies trespassing as a fourth degree misdemeanor, which could land the pair in jail for up to 30 days. They are due in Toledo Municipal Court Friday morning.

I’ve been trying to hold off on blogging about too much Pokemon Go stuff just because it seems every crime or accident that has happened in the U.S. the last week has somehow been pinned on Pokemon Go. But these two stories were like a 2016 current events Mad Libs. Before Pokemon Go, the two stories that owned 2016 were Harambe and Florida alligators. Hottest stories in the blogging streets before these Japanese monsters out of nowhere and Wally Pipp’d their asses. So having a couple sneak into a zoo at 2:30 am in Harambe’s home state and chilling outside of the fucking tiger cage, as well as zoos having to tell people to stay out of where the animals in Florida was too much to ignore.

Which brings me to my point. Before Pokemon Go, I was not a fan of Pokemon. Not a hater on the level of KFC, but just someone that never played the game and was never interested simply because it wasn’t my cup of tea. But you know what? Now I love Pokemon. I am all in on those little fuckers. Not because I like to play the game or think it’s a good way to meet friends or exercise. It’s because of stories like this. Or stories of people driving into a pond or falling off a cliff because they were playing Pokemon (both true stories). Hell, the whole Harambe fiasco probably gets pinned on Pokemon Go if it happens today. Pokemon Go is quickly thinning the herd of humanity and doling out Darwin Awards like they are the Takies. Each new story more ridiculous than the last. And I for one LOVE it.