I Can't Hate On The Bronx Nursing Home That Is Encouraging Its Residents To Have Sex Together
NY Times- When Audrey Davison met someone special at her nursing home, she wanted to love her man. Her nurses and aides at the Hebrew Home at Riverdale did not try to stop her. On the contrary, she was allowed to stay over in her boyfriend’s room with the door shut under the Bronx home’s stated “sexual expression policy.” One aide even made the couple a “Do Not Disturb” sign to hang outside. “I enjoyed it and he was a very good lover,” Ms. Davison, 85, said. “That was part of how close we were: physically touching and kissing.”
Ms. Davison is among a number of older Americans who are having intimate relationships well into their 70s and 80s, helped in some cases by Viagra and more tolerant societal attitudes toward sex outside marriage. These aging lovers have challenged traditional notions of growing old and, in some cases, raised logistical and legal issues for their families, caretakers and the institutions they call home. Nursing homes in New York and across the country have increasingly broached the issue as part of a broader shift from institutional to individualized care, according to nursing home operators and their industry groups. Many have already loosened daily regimens to give residents more choice over, say, what time to bathe or what to eat for dinner. The next step for some is to allow residents the option of having sex, and to provide support for those who do. “Sex falls right smack dab in the middle of who we are as people,” said Marguerite McLaughlin, senior director of quality improvement for the American Health Care Association, the nation’s largest trade association for nursing homes, representing nearly 10,000 of them. The Hebrew Home has stepped up efforts to help residents looking for relationships. Staff members have organized a happy hour and a senior prom, and started a dating service, called G-Date, for Grandparent Date. Currently, about 40 of the 870 residents are involved in a relationship.
I have to admit that I am happy for these old geezers. If you are living out the rest of your days at a nursing home retirement community, you should be allowed to get your rocks off as much as you want. Hell, make the place look like a brothel run by Littlefinger for all I care. Those places are creepy as fuck as it is. Like a mix between a funeral home and a hospital. And I imagine the nurses already have enough crazy stuff and human fluids to deal with, what is a little bit of love juice to add to the pumped in oxygen of a nursing home retirement community? Those places always smell so sterilized anyway. Maybe a waft of sex in the air will remind the residents of their glory days and make them feel young again. Sure you now have to worry about walking in on your roommate attempting to mount Esther from down the hall or there could now be two corpses behind that Do Not Disturb sign because 90 year olds may not be able to handle the cardio. But everyone needs a little bit of love and a dating service named G-Date is so patently absurd I have to support it.
And if this catches on at nursing homes retirement communities around the country, just trust me folks. Buy stock in whoever is the leader in replacement hips. The nursing home ambulance driver is about to be working OT and putting in more hours than the Madden ambulance driver, who is one of the great forgotten characters in video game history.
Just tossing motherfuckers like a bouncer in the club